Congratulations! You got a new job!

London, United Kingdom, April 2010 – Ok, take a deep breath and prepare yourself for the challenge thinking of the new people you are going to meet and the new skills you are going to acquire.

Now, and unless you know how to diffuse the news to your current employer’s, you may end up psychologically wounded. The best way to shield yourself from the inevitable mixture of emotions surrounding the act of submitting your resignation is to remember that employers follow a predictable, three-stage pattern when faced with a resignation:

First: They’ll be in shock. “You sure picked a fine time to leave! Who’s going to finish this work?” The implication is that you’re irreplaceable. They might as well ask, “How will we ever get the work done without you?” To answer this, you can reply, “If I were run over by a truck on my way to work tomorrow, Ifeel that somehow, this law firm would survive.”

Second: They’ll start to probe. “Who’s the new firm? What sort of position did you accept? What are they paying you?” Here you must be careful not to disclose too much information, or appear too enthusiastic. Otherwise, you run the risk of feeding your current employer with ammunition he can use against you later, such as, “I’ve heard some pretty terrible things about your new firm”or, “They’ll make everything look great until you actually get there. Then you’ll see how that place really is.”

Third: They’ll make you an offer to try and keep you from leaving. “You know that raise you and I were talking about a few months back? I forgot to tell you: We were just getting it processed yesterday.” To this, you for example may respond, “Today you seem pretty concerned about my happiness and wellbeing. Where were you yesterday, before I announced my intention to resign?”

Of course, it may take several days for the three stages to run their course, but sooner or later, you’ll find yourself engaged in conversations similar to these.

The question is: how to Tactfully Resign? The first thing you need to consider is the timing of your resignation. As notice is considered the norm, make sure your resignation properly coincides with your start date at the new company.

You should always try to avoid an extended start date. Even if your new job begins in 10 weeks, don’t give 10 weeks’ notice; wait eight weeks and then give two weeks’ notice. This way, you’ll protect yourself from disaster, in the unlikely event your new company announces a hiring freeze a month before you come on board. And by staying at your old job for only two weeks after you’ve announced your resignation, you won’t be subjected to the envy, scorn, or feelings of professional impotence that may result from your new role as a lame-duck employee.

Your resignation should be handled in person, preferably on a Friday afternoon. Ask your direct supervisor if you can speak with him privately in his office. When you announce your intention to resign, you should also hand your supervisor a letter which states your last date of employment. Let him know that you’ve enjoyed working with him, but that an opportunity came along that you couldn’t pass up, and that your decision to leave was made carefully, and doesn’t reflect any negative feelings you have toward the firm or the team. You should also add that your decision is final, and that you would prefer not to be made a counter offer, since you wouldn’t want your refusal to accept more money to appear as a personal affront. Let your supervisor know that you appreciate all the law firm has done for you; and that you’ll do everything in your power to make your departure as smooth and painless as possible.

Next, ask if there’s anything you can do during the transition period over the next two weeks,such as help train your successor, tie up loose ends, or delegate tasks. Keep your resignation letter short, simple, and to the point. There’s no need to go into detail about your new job, or what led to your decision to leave.

Finally, make sure to provide a photocopy of your resignation letter for your firm’s personnel file. This way, the circumstances surrounding your resignation will be well documented for future reference.

And remember: with a little bit of planning, it’s possible to make a smooth transition from one job to a other…

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